How to make a prank phone call

People like Ralphige and The Jerky Boys have elevated prank phone calls to an art. Here’s how you can get in on the fun.

You Will Need:

* A phone
* A plan
* Caller I.D. block

Step 1: Have a plan
Outline your basic scam. Are you going to call businesses or individuals? What are you planning to tell them or ask them? Try to anticipate their responses so you don’t get tongue-tied.

Step 2: Know the law
Know the law. It’s illegal to prank call government officials, the police, the fire department, or an ambulance service; you can’t pose as a fireman, policeman, terrorist, or criminal; you can’t make threats; and you can’t slander a business or product.

Step 3: Practice
Do a few dry runs with a friend. It will help you prepare by giving you an idea of how your target may respond.

Step 4: Block your caller I.D.
Before dialing, hit *67 so your phone number doesn’t appear on the victim’s caller I.D.

Step 5: Hook them in
People are quick to hang up on a stranger, so hook them into staying on the line by suggesting there’s something in it for them—a quiz prize, a reward, or a big order (if you’re phoning a business).

Step 6: Bide your time
Relax your mark with a few softballs before you throw them a curve. If you’re pretending to take a survey, ask, “What laundry detergent do you use?” before you hit them with, “Does it remove your crap-in-the-pants stains?”

Step 7: Have conviction
Have conviction. If you call a dog groomer and ask if he’ll give your children a bath, sound sincere as you present your arguments—the kids will love it, they’re too dirty to wash in the tub, you think they have fleas.

Step 8: Don’t push it
Don’t push it. If the person tells you they are going to call the cops, believe them and hang up.