Gay men and lesbians are not as different from the rest of society as you may assume they are. They have been labelled, they have had to fight for acceptance, and for equal treatment under the law, such as the right to marry and adopt children. Do you really know about them, or do you just think you do?
Step 1
Learn that gay men and lesbians are no different from any other group of people. They have dreams and goals, and want to be happy and lead productive lives. The more time you spent around gay and lesbian people, the more you realize that they're just people, the same as you.
Step 2
Forget about stereotypes; they almost always do not apply.
- Gay men and lesbians work in a variety of jobs and lead a variety of lifestyles. Not all gay men know how to cook, wear tight clothes, and love to shop or sing along with old musicals. Not every lesbian has short hair and walks around dressed and acting like a man. People in the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community come in all shapes and sizes.
Step 3
Accept the fact that the ability to love or care for another is not solely related to sexuality; love has no gender. Gay relationships are built and based on the same foundations as straight ones: mutual attraction, love, respect and trust.
Step 4
Realize that it is not your business who other people love. That is personal to each individual, and has nothing to do with your life (if you choose to keep your life separate). The way others live does not affect the way you live in any way, so if you choose to stay away and segregate yourself from gay men and lesbians living openly, they will not attempt to force their friendship on you.
Step 5
Understand that gay and lesbian people do not choose to be gay and cannot make themselves straight; just as straight people do not choose to feel attracted towards the opposite sex.
Step 6
Be open minded, as you would be with any other person. Do not assume that a person is sexually attracted to you; if you're a girl, do you assume that all straight boys are into you, because they like girls? That would be ridiculous, and the same thing applies to everyone - just because a person is attracted to your gender does not mean that they are sexually interested in you. Being friends with someone who has a different sexual orientation to you is no different to having a friends of the opposite sex.
Step 7
If you don't agree with it, don't insult them! Be quiet. Vote against gay marriage and related issues if you must - that is your right and your decision - but don't persecute someone.
Tips
- Straight people do not need to be nervous around gay people. Treat the gay community as you would the heterosexual community.
- If you meet a person at work whom you suspect might be gay, refrain from asking them about it. Ask yourself if you would appreciate being asked about your sex life by a work colleague? Probably not. Accept them as you would any of the other workers, and befriend them equally. If they wish to disclose their sexual orientation, they will, but leave it for your co-workers to decide when or whether to do so.
Be aware that it probably took a lot of courage for someone to inform you of their sexuality, and that it is a gift of honesty and trust. It is important to that person's integrity to be honest about themselves, and you owe it to them and to yourself to be as understanding to them as you would want them to be with you.
Warnings
- Never use any of your views, whether religious or not, to make a gay person feel that they are evil, or untouchable. If you truly want to understand them as people, you will need to approach the subject with an open mind. Disapproving of the "sin" should not make you hate the person who you believe to be "sinning".
- It is useful to note that most English translations of the Bible use the word homosexual as a mistranslation of yadha (paedophile) and qadesh (male temple prostitute). Of course, the word homosexual was not available to be used when the Bible was written, and there was no true equivalent Greek word. This might help you overcome some of the negative behaviour associations of gay people.
- Many devout people do not consider homosexuality a sin. Do not try to force your views on LGBT people.
- Hostility will most often be met with hostility. In keeping with the title of our article, to truly understand someone, try to open a dialogue rather than lecturing based on your past knowledge or experience. Opening yourself to a person and truly making yourself willing to hear him or her can go a long way towards real understanding between both of you. Using derogatory slang is - at the very least - thoughtlessly using language that shows to other people that you don't respect the LGBT community.
- Many people have negative predispositions against gay people. There are gay stereotypes, and many do display them. However, a stereotype is a blanket statement which is true for some but not all.
