So, you're a lesbian with a bunch of straight girlfriends. Inevitably, one of them is going to pose that dreaded question: "If I were gay, would you be attracted to me? Are you attracted to me, even though I'm not gay? Am I your type?" If you want to keep your friendships with your straight girlfriends intact, here's how to handle that question.
Step 1
Avoid answering definitively. No matter how tempting it is, do not answer that question with a yes or no.
Step 2
Try a charming diversionary answer. Responding with a big, cheesy smile and, "You're a beautiful girl. And that's all I'm saying". will usually bring smiles and further questioning. Like, "Aww, come on - would I be your type?" etc.
Step 3
Use gay subculture to beg off. Stick with your story. Explain that telling the truth, in this case, might actually harm your friendship and no lesbian ever answers this question from a straight girlfriend. When she persists and ask why, tell her:
- "If I say I amattracted to you, you might be flattered today, but you may feel creepy about it tomorrow. After that, forever, you may give unwanted meaning to every little touch, every bit of eye contact - everything. Eventually, it would eat away at our friendship, because you wouldn't trust that things I say or do are in the interest of our friendship rather than in my self-interest as I try to lure you into my nefarious clutches. So I'm not going to say that".
- "If I say I am attracted to you, you might decide to indulge in a little experimentation. That wouldn't be fair to either of us, because if I actually developed romantic feelings for you because of a little so-called 'harmless hookup', it would hurt me if you dumped me to be with someone else. So I'm not going to say that."
- "If I say I am not attracted to you, it might insult you, or make you feel that I like you less. In the end, it'll make you feel bitter about me. So I'm not going to say that."
- "No matter how I answer, this will not end well for me or for our friendship. So I will only ever answer this question with, "You are a beautiful girl, and I love you - as a friend. Period."
- Simply ask back "Are you attracted to every guy around you? Obviously not. That's same for anyone regardless of their sexual orientation."
Step 4 Change the subject immediately.
Tips
- There are some girls that may ask you this because they themselves are struggling with their sexuality. This is where your "gaydar" comes into play. If your friend persists, asks you again later, when you are alone, or talks to you about girls she finds attractive, then it's time to ask her a question of your own. Ask her why she keeps asking you.
- If she seems hesitant or confused, assuming you're alone, ask her, "Do you think you might have some feelings outside of friendship for me? Is that why you're asking this?"
Warnings
- Don't telegraph your real response. If you areattracted, or worse, in love with your friend, hit on her all the time. In fact, hit on all of your straight girlfriends all the time - just in a light, joking way, and only if they're comfortable with you doing it. This way, even if you know you can't truly hide your feelings, you'll in essence be hiding in plain sight.
- If you do answer, prepare to lose your friend, if she really is straight, no matter how you answer (see the steps above for example scenarios).
