How To Get Your Girlfriend to Play Video Games

Step 1

Find out if your girlfriend has ever played video games before. She may not be a full-blown gamer, but maybe she played Mario games when she was younger. Or maybe she likes playing an Internet game from time to time. If you know her gaming history, you'll have a better chance of finding a game she'll enjoy now.

Step 3

Pick out a game she might like. If you're not 100% sure she'll enjoy it, you can rent it.

Try to choose a game or game system that isn't too confusing, and doesn't require short reaction time. Many non-gamers are intimidated by button combinations. If you've ever gotten frustrated to the point of throwing the controller in a game, don't start with that one.

If you can, get a game that is multi-player or, optimally, co-op.

Consider your girlfriend's personality when picking out a game. Some girls may prefer the brightly colored, all-ages games like Katamari Damacy, Bust A Move, Lego Star Wars, Sims, or just about any Mario game. But remember that your girlfriend is an individual who could just as well go for Halo, Resident Evil, or Grand Theft Auto. In general, girls go more for games that involve good characterization and dramatic plotlines; even a modicum of these factors can make a game a lot more appealing for a girl. For instance, many girls won't be interested in Soul Calibur 2 ... but if you let a girl make a custom character in Soul Calibur 3 (maybe encouraging her to make up a story or background for that character), you might be surprised by her sudden surge of enthusiasm for learning that character's moves.

Don't get games that involve things like strippers, prostitutes, and sex. Unless she has a sense of humor about such things, she probably won't like it. This essentially disqualifies the previously mentioned Grand Theft Auto series.

Step 4

Have fun when you play with her. If you make it a good time she will enjoy it, even if she's not that "into games." Crack jokes, make her laugh, and focus primarily on spending time with her, not on winning the game at hand. Be prepared to help her out. Even if she's only playing "easy" games, your girlfriend may get stuck and frustrated. As a gamer, you know one of the most frustrating things about video games is getting stuck. Helping her will not only avoid her getting frustrated and fed up with video games, but it will foster a sense of "playing together" and help her see what a great guy you are.

Step 5

Be understanding and supportive. When she first starts out, tell her that it's easy, and that she will catch on. Make her feel like this is something that she can do. Let her win. Try not to show any signs of being annoyed that she can't pass the 1st water zone for the 76th time in a row. As she keeps playing, she will get better and may enjoy the game itself.

Step 6

Next time you and your girlfriend are in a game shop, casually walk by the video game section and ask her if there is anything that catches her eye. She will probably say no at first without looking at any game, but coax her into it.

Tips

If you're just starting a relationship, don't assume anything about her interest or experience with video games. Some girls love video games. Some girls even love first person shooters. Some girls can probably even make you look like a complete moron in first person shooters.

Some girls (a girl talking, here) actually love shooting and car stealing games (Grand Theft Auto) or even vehicle racing games, and may kick your butt at them if she's good enough. Don't be a sore loser, but don't just shrug it off. These girls will find it cute if you are really mad but somewhat unsuccessfully try to hide it.

Teach her how to uncramp her hands [This should be a link but there is no article for how to relieve hand pain], because they will get tired during her first few sessions. Show her how you usually stretch out your hands, because if she equates video games with sore and stiff hands, she won't want to play any more. Maybe you could give her a hand massage to make her feel better.

Recognize that she probably doesn't want to play for 8 hours at a time. When she wants to do something else, don't make her continue to play or make her feel guilty for only playing for 2 hours - or even for only 10 minutes. Thank her for giving it a chance, and tell her you had fun and you hope you can play together again sometime.

If you are playing an MMORPG, let her create a character on your account. Allow her to choose the look, style of dress, everything. She will appreciate that she is playing with something she created herself.

World of Warcraft and similar MMORPGs are a good place for a new player to start. However, be careful not to repeatedly tell her that she is a "newbie" and that the quests she's trying to complete are easy. Instead, help her at difficult quests, for example, and teach her how to use her class spells and abilities. The best idea is that you both begin a new character and level together.

Eventually, she may want to try more advanced games. This is not a given, though. She may become a guru at Mario but never want to pick up a shooter. If you want her to play games like that, try getting her to play co-op with you. You may be able to "ease" her into these kinds of games, especially if she can play with you instead of against you (though she may get a kick out of blowing you away in Halo).

If you do manage to get your girlfriend playing video games on her own, be ready and willing to help her through some of the harder levels or boss battles.

If you can get a girl who started out with no interest in video games to enjoy a co-op shooter, you've done well, exceedingly well. Eventually she may play multiplayer with you, or even against you. Maybe. One can dream.

Some Nintendo systems have more intuitive controls which may be useful to just pick up and play without prior experience. This may be a good starting point for new gamers, unless they have prior experience with other systems controls.

If you do find a girlfriend who already loves video games... keep her.

Having a large screen or projection TV may help get your girlfriend "into" the game. It's much easier to get drawn into the game and pay attention on a big screen instead of squinting to see what's happening on a small one.

Take the time to physically show her the controls. Put your hands over hers, and perform basic actions in the game for her to start out. Once her muscles get used to moving with yours you can move on to her doing it herself.

Once you've shown her the controls, give her some time to practice on her own. Do not grab for the controls or tell her what to do every 10 seconds. Unless she asks, don't tell her what she did wrong every time she makes a mistake. You figured this out on your own - she will too. You told her she'd catch on - now trust her to do so. It can not possibly be fun to play video games with someone who is constantly barking out orders or who is acting like he thinks you're an airhead.

On a 2-player game, switching her side to infinite life can help her get used to controls.

On a 1st person shooter, try to teach her the maps and "spots" to give her an advantage.

Guitar Hero may be a good game because both of you can play cooperatively on different difficulties.

Make an investment, purchase a Nintendo DS or PSP for her as a present. You can introduce it as a music and movie player (on the DS as well if you're aware of homebrew). After she becomes comfortable with it, expose her to some games. For the DS, Planet Puzzle League, Trauma Center, Elite Beat Agents and Mario Kart all great choices.

also, try some simple button mash games, such as God of War, and Devil May Cry. They are really simple and have easily recognizable humor, and in devil may cry, you can have her play as the girl.

And if they game is like Ratchet & Clank, turn strafe mode on. Makes it SO much more enjoyable for those of whom can't multitask with the moving around, looking around, and pushing the buttons at the same time.

Warnings

If you try to get your girlfriend into something you're into that she's not, she may feel justified in doing the same with you--attempting to show you the glory of motor mechanics, for example. If she's a good sport, you should be, too.

If you and your girlfriend can play at the same time online, do not ignore her or take advantage.

If you roleplay with your character and she feels threatened by romantic roleplay with other characters be sensitive to this -do not ignore her feelings or make fun of her for it.
Resist using your girlfriend as a means of advancing your own character, guild, etc. and help her to create a positive, independent gaming experience in a game you both enjoy.

If you get her into gaming, you might never get access to your computer or game console again.

If you're the kind of person who shouts phrases with extremely violent cursing after losing a video game, try not to do so. It may show her that you're not a very civil person. (Also, be prepared for her to reveal that she is not a very civil person by violently cursing after losing.)

When and if she starts to beat you on a consistent basis, do *NOT* stop playing the game with her. Remember you wanted this. Nurture it. Be impressed! Do NOT suddenly adopt the attitude that this game is lame anyway and it's time to try a new one. Nothing will dampen her newfound enthusiasm more quickly.

Acknowledge when she does well, not just when she's doing well "because you messed up" in competition games.

If your girlfriend gives your love of video games a chance (whether she likes it or not), willingly agree to give one of her hobbies a chance, even if it's not something you think you'll enjoy.

If she says no then listen! If you ignore her and let her off somewhere else, she will think your a real jerk.

If your girlfriend is content to read or do something else while you do your thing, and politely tells you she's tried but she just isn't interested in video games, consider letting her be. She's not nagging you or trying to change you, so don't nag her or try to change her. It's not important for a couple to share all their interests; it's important for them to accept and respect each other.

This is not surefire to work on all girls. Some girls are not the type that fits.

If she is from another country (eg. Germany), avoid playing World War II games; it may or may not offend her, but it's better to stay on the safe side.